Family,  Parenting

The best cleaning advice EVER!

It’s 2 for Tuesday. That means twice the posts, and twice the fun.

Why is it that whenever family comes over, we go into a mad cleaning frenzy? This is especially true when the in-laws are coming over. We wake up, and we turn into, well, our mothers.

We start saying things like, “You better not be messing up that room,” or “Why are you getting a different plate? Your syrupy breakfast plate is perfectly ok to put your Mac n cheese on.”

Our voices become louder, our hair goes up in a messy bun, the ugly sweatpants go on, and we break out those rubber gloves. By the time we finish our backs our broken, we smell like sweat and tears, and snap at anyone that walks by. The best part is, by 5 pm, the kids have completely destroyed the entire house, and we have resorted to drinking wine out of the bottle.

Why do we constantly put ourselves under that kind of pressure, every time the in laws or any kind of family comes over? I know my mother in law had to clean my husbands room as a child, and I can tell you, he isn’t the neatest person on the planet. I’m sure she had army trucks scattered all over the house, so why should I care if there is a heard of dinosaurs on my counter? I am a great mother, and I know my mother in law approves of me, so again WHY?!

I don’t think anyone has the answer to that. I also know for a fact, that come every family reunion, I’m gonna turn into that crazy person who rushes the entire day for no reason whatsoever. So mamas, just save yourself the pain, and take this simple cleaning advice from me; I promise you will feel better at the end of the day.

Cleaning Advice, for when the In-Laws are coming over:

1. Make sure to leave smudges on the windows.

By leaving smudges on the windows, you are showing them that you are an environmentalist, and care about the animals such as birds. By leaving the smudges on the windows, the birds are then able to distinguish between a window from an open hole. You see, when you have a pristine window, with no smudges, the birds think it’s an open area to fly through, and well most likely will die from slamming into the window. So don’t be like those bird haters with the super clean windows. Leave a few smudges on those windows and help save a birds life!

2. Make sure to leave some dishes in the sink.

You want your in-laws, and anyone else who comes over to your home, to think that you are an amazing chef, and cook your family 3 full course meals.

A cleaned out sink, just makes it look like you order pizza and Chinese every day. Leave a few dishes, and make yourself look like the chef that we all know you are.

3. Leave at least one pile of laundry out.

Leaving a pile of laundry in the basket can help your image a few different ways. First off, it shows visitors, that you are indeed buying enough clothes for your children to last between laundry days. Second, it also shows that you are economically conscious. Think of all the money and water you are saving by washing your clothes only a few times a week, instead of on a daily basis. You don’t need to tell them that you don’t wash until everyone is left with one pair on undies. Also, don’t tell them that your kids would rather run around naked than actually wear clothes.

4. Make sure there is leftover tooth paste in the kids sink

Dental hygiene is very important, and you work hard wrestling your toddlers in order to adequately brush their teeth. You should be proud that your kids are getting to the age of independence, and are able to squeeze the toothpaste tube and brush their teeth. So go ahead and leave some toothpaste in the sink. Show your family that you are up on the dental hygiene, and how independent your kiddos have become.

5. It’s ok to leave pieces of food that the kids have forgotten about out.

It is critical to show to your guests that you are feeding your children a variety of food, and not just sugary cereal and chips. So those apple cores that never seem to make it to the garbage, leave them out. The slices of cheese that are starting to dry up on the counter, leave them out. Nutrition is important for growing minds and bodies. Make sure your guests know that you know how important variety in the diet is.

6. Make sure there toys scattered about.

In today’s technologically advanced society, everyone has a tablet, or a phone, or a gaming device. Seriously, even kids as young as 4 have tablets, or know how to work phones (guilty as charged). The doctors and society will tell you to limit the amount of time your kids are glued to the tv, or glued to their devices. These people have clearly never taken a tablet away from a child.

The best way to show that you limit screen time for your children, is by showcasing a toy cluttered room. So leave those stuffed animals scattered around. Don’t bother picking up those barbies or legos. All those toys show that your kids are having a good time playing, and not sitting in front of a screen.

7. Make sure your coffee pot and wine glasses are cleaned and put away.

Coffee, wine, and everything fine; the two sources of a mothers energy. You know it, I know it, your guests know it, and society knows it. Yet, you are still a bad mother if you are seen refilling your coffee mug up, or drinking wine before 5 pm. Make sure your coffee pot, and your wine glasses are cleaned and put away. This will give the illusion that you are a water drinking kind of mom, and not the coffee drinking, wine indulging mother you know you are.

So there you have it, 7 simple cleaning steps to help keep you somewhat sane.

Don’t stress the mess, just pour some Chardonnay, sit down, put your feet up, and embrace your HoTmEsS LIFE!

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