Remember when we were kids, and we had to place a quarter or whatever into the swear jar? Well, break out that swear jar, mama, because we are about to toss a few bucks into it.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
What is society’s obsession with wanting “put-together” mothers?
They want us to be Mary Poppins, when in reality we are more like Roseanne, or Lorelai Gilmore. Half of us don’t have our shit together, and the other half is just putting on a pretty face and rolling with it. Well I’m sick of it!
I don’t want to pretend to be the Disney mom that everyone wants me to be. I don’t want to pretend to have my shit together. I want to be the mom that I am, and I am a frickin good mom. My kid’s are fed, they are clothed, and they have all the love they will ever want. My house is not pristine, I try to be on time to functions, but hauling 4 kids around is not easy so I will be perpetually late. I have messy hair and I rarely wear jeans. I drink and, damn it, I swear too, but all of this does not make me a bad mother.
When my six year old son asked for noodles for the millionth time in a row last night. I was thinking about how it’s been a really long day, he’s not going to eat anything else anyways, so F*** it, I made noodles, and we were all happy. Our four year old does not like to sleep in her room, we have done everything we can think of to get her to sleep in her room, but it always ends in a screaming fight. So, when she crawls into our bed at 2 in the morning, I scoot over, grab the covers and say F*** it, and we all go back to sleep.
Coming to the realization that sometimes we just have to say F*** it, has been like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Now I know some of you are probably judging me and saying “way to let the kids walk all over you.” Call it what you want, but I have 4 happy kids, and most of the time we are all happy together. They have their boundaries, and I have my limits, but when it comes to that small shit, why waste precious time arguing over it. You want to wear the same shirt you’ve worn two days in a row? F*** it. You want leftover birthday cake for breakfast? F*** it. You want to roll around in mud? F*** it.
The same motto can be applied to motherhood as well. I really shouldn’t spend $80 at the nail salon. F*** it, you deserve some pampering. Should I really have another glass of wine? F*** it, you have four kids, drink the whole damn bottle. Should we really get a sitter for the whole night and have some husband wife time? F*** it, but not literally (because you have enough kids!).
Drink that $6.00 Starbucks, have a glass or two of wine, go pamper yourself, go on a spontaneous adventure. So you spend a little more than you wanted to, you work hard for that money, might as well use it. Let your kids roll in dirt. They won’t die by eating a slice of cake in the morning. If you really need some quiet time, give them the tablet and say F*** it. Pick your battles and parenting will become a little less chaotic.
Stop pretending to be the Mary Poppins that you will never be. Stop comparing yourself to other moms. Break out that swear jar, drop a few F bombs, wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say F*** it, and take whatever the day gives you. Sometimes we just need that mentality to get us through those long weeks that never end.
So, do me a favor and say F*** it to the housework today, and go on an adventure. Go get a pedicure, have a few drinks at noon, do whatever you want and say whatever you want, because this is your HoTmEsS LIFE, and you deserve to let it all go!