It’s A Cellulite Life!

It’s that time of year again. Time to shave those legs, and try to squeeze into those mom shorts, to strut those cellulite thighs at the park, and own it. Yea–I’m talking to you! So you don’t have a Victoria secretes body. You have a body that grew and produced beautiful babies who absolutely adore you; that’s why they are constantly touching you and calling your name.

Your stomach is probably a little jigglier, you probably have stretch marks that will never go away, and, chances are, your hips have widened past the point of no return. None of this should stop us from wearing those shorts and being the freaking good mom that we know we all are.

So why is it that when we gather up enough courage to go shopping for shorts, we feel completely and utterly miserable the whole time? Every time I look in the mirror of the dressing room, my evil self sits on my shoulder and reminds me how my thighs resemble jello. It reminds me of the little craters peeking out from under those very, very tight shorts. Eventually I throw on the towel and go home to a large glass of wine and some Netflix bingeing.

Yes, I have thighs that jiggle like jello. They have craters that you could land a toy rocket ship in. When I sit, my thighs expand like a hot air ballon. I have purple tiger stripes on my blueberry muffin tops and my stomach jiggles. My kids love to point it out. “Look, mommy’s belly moves like Santa clause!” Clearly, they will be getting coal in their stockings. None of this, however, affects my ability to be a good mom.

I could easily blame all of these things on having four children in a short time span. Often, I typically do, but the fact that I love pizza and wine could also be contributing–just maybe.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do work out. I love doing yoga for toning, boxing for cardio, and the stair master for this big ‘ole booty. Non of that, though, replaces the knowledge that I just had my fourth baby. It takes 9 months for that belly to swell, for stretch marks to appear, and for those hips to get even wider (something I did not think was possible).

Society puts so much pressure on us moms to jump back into shape the second you pop a baby out of your hoo-ha. Well, I say screw society! Let’s be realistic for a change and cut our bodies a little slack. In fact, go ahead and give your body a pep talk,

“Hey girl, I know your a little saggy and wiggly right now, but you are amazing. You have given me some beautiful babies and I am forever thankful for you. You are beautiful and Gurrrrrl those hips do not lie!”

See? Don’t you feel better about yourself?

It’s hard to see ourselves as beautiful–believe me I know. We expect so much of our selves and when we aren’t at the size we want, we tend to self-loathe with delicious chocolate, red wine, and some sappy hallmark movie.

Well, it’s time to knock that shit off. I mean–keep drinking wine, but the self-loathing needs to stop. Get off that dressing room bench, go out and grab that bigger size of shorts, and strut your stuff, mama. Remember: thick thighs save lives, and if your thighs touch, you are one step closer to being s mermaid. When you do find that perfect pair of shorts, after trying on 10 different styles while the baby screams, make sure you buy multiple pairs. We don’t want to do this again any time soon.

The important thing to remember is that you are beautiful right now, in his moment. Look at those bright blue eyes watching your every move. You made that, that came from you! Your body is amazing, and worth the extra time and love. You are a great mom. You have a sexy, desirable mom bod. Clearly, your husband can’t get enough of you, because you keep popping out beautiful babies.

Now for homework time, yes homework.

I want you to put on those shorts that you just bought, put some makeup on (if you want), and then take a full body selfie. Post that selfie on some social media site, or even as a comment below, and tell yourself how much of a beautiful badass mama you are. Believe it, and feel it. Then go grab an iced coffee and have your self a freaking awesome Monday!

You ARE a HoTmEsS, but your a beautiful HoTmEsS!


  • With Love From P

    I love this.. after having my little man 3 months ago this made me giggle. I sat in the mirror today and thought wow, how can I wear a swimsuit like this on holiday 😂 but guess what. I don’t care, I’m wearing it anyway haha. Great read.

  • Emily | Lil Mama Bear Blog

    I think it’s ridiculous the amount of weight we put on looking like supermodels. Cmon let’s be honest, those people’s lives are miserable! They can’t eat anything, they’re constantly having to wax and tan and pluck and shave, they always have to worry about how they look. I’m not about that. I like being a mom, perfectly imperfect.

  • thevintagegypsygirl

    There is certainly no wrong way to be real and a part of that comes with fully embracing our quirks, moods, mom-bods and all. Those post-pregnancy bodies and mom-bodies tell a beautiful story of our journey into, over, and through motherhood.

  • taylermorrell

    I’m in a weird place. I weigh more than I would like to right now. But, I’m not ashamed of the way my body looks because I know how to dress it for now. So, although I’m working hard to lose weight and don’t want to settle with how I am now, I know that I still look good.

  • P

    Amen! I feel downright miserable with my self-image, not because I hate myself but because what everyone else says about my body. Is it really the worst thing to be an incredible mom and put the pursuit of skinny on hold?

  • melissa

    aww I love this post. I am still trying to lose the ‘baby weight’ and my daughter is almost 4. lol! I think at this point its just pizza and ice cream weight. I try everyday to love my body as it is but I definitely struggle.

  • Stephanie

    I am one of those who is not where I want to be, but I also don’t hide it. I am back down to where I was before ever getting pregnant (my kids are 3 and 5 so I’ve had some time) but I still look different because I’m proportioned differently now. And girl, last year when I found some shorts I loved I bought one of every color and two of a few!

  • loisaltermark

    Yes, we need to celebrate our bodies for all that they give us – especially gorgeous little babies! It takes a long time to realize that perspective but it gets easier as you get older.

  • Rachel

    I am wearing shorts this summer for the first time in a long time. Nothing magical happened. I just am over worrying about my legs not being perfect.

  • The Cinnamon Mom

    Preach, Mama! My body is definitely not the same after two kids, but I’ve learned to embrace it and wear my shorts with pride!

  • eruptingvolcanoes

    Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. I do think that society is putting too much pressure on everyone to look a ceratain way. Sure, this does not mean that we shouldn’t aim to improve or better ourselves it simply means that there is not one ideal look, and that even when you’re trying to change or improve you have to remind yourself that you are beautiful and worthy as you are right now.

  • Joline

    I definitely understand this! As I grew older I put on more and more weight that just stayed put. So for a time I just went around in what I call my gave-up-on-the-world outfits. Until I realized, duh I just need to stop squeezing my self in my old clothes and go up sizes!

  • Angela Tolsma

    Being body positive is so important and what a great message for moms out there. There is far too much pressure to be a certain one after one has kids.

  • marjiemare

    Embracing who we are with all the imperfections gives freedom. I enjoy reading your blog which I feel so real and relatable.

  • Diana

    This is wonderful. I definitely have days when I look in the mirror and hate what I see. Some days it’s more work to remind myself to not let my size or my jiggle to stop me from living life. I don’t feel like a “fat” person, I feel like I can do the same activities, eat and wear the same things as everyone else and when I do feel the hesitation to wear a swim suit for example, I need to push myself to not miss out on life. I don’t want my daughters to feel like they can’t wear something or do something or eat something or deserve something because of their jiggle or cellulite.

  • chelf

    YES! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being real! Our scars and marks tell our stories and we should be proud of each and every one of them!

  • Tola

    I have just learnt to own and work my mom body, it’s here to stay and it’s very beautiful so I own the hell out of it and appreciate the work it did to give me beautiful kids

  • Amanda

    Yes to all of this!! I had my daughter almost a year ago, but I just started being unhappy with my #mombod. This was a great reminder that this body BIRTHED another human so I should proudly flaunt every inch of it!

  • Di Hickman

    Oh hell yeah! Love everything about this message, for sure I’ve noticed some extra jiggle in the thighs this summer but I’m embracing it knowing that I’m not perfect because nobody is! Plus I love the “u lit”!!!!

  • thefashionableaccountant

    I love a mom bod because you have done something with your body that no man can!!! Go you beautiful momma!!!

  • eloise25

    being REAL is what beauty IS, everything else is artificial and unimportant… I love that you still rock shorts no matter what, I always say dress for the weather… if it’s hot wear something to keep cool, etc… I have stretch marks from my kiddos and I like to refer to them as my battle wounds with the reminder that ‘hey I survived having a couple kids and I love those mini me’s’ Well worth it, plus scars look cool ; )
    great read!!!

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