mommyblog,  Motivation Monday

You ARE a good mom

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Let’s be real, motherhood ain’t no walk in the park. It’s brutal, emotionally and physically draining. It’s scary, intense, and frankly, the hardest damn job we will ever have. We sacrifice so much to be a mother. We sacrifice our bodies, our mornings, nights, and days. We sacrifice our sleep, our social lives, our family. We even sacrifice the ability to pee in peace. We cry often from a combination of sleep deprivation and an abundance of hormones sweeping over us. Sometimes, if we are honest with ourselves, we even wonder if we are good enough.

We feel like we are failing at this mom business. Well, I’m here to tell you that you are not failing. Your aren’t perfect, that’s for sure. You have made plenty of mistakes, and you will make plenty more, but that’s what makes you an amazing mom. Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a mom that makes mistakes, that cries and yells. They need a mom that doesn’t have it put together all the time. They need a mom that is there in the moment and not trying to be this unrealistic, perfect, person. Newsflash, perfect moms don’t exist. The reality is, we are all a hotmess. We all make mistakes, and that’s ok. So the next time you feel like you are losing it, just let it all go and keep this in mind….you ARE a good mom.

              

  • To all the moms who have locked themselves in their rooms while they scream into a pillow….you ARE a good mom.
  • To all the moms who have dropped the F bomb on numerous occasions, you ARE a good mom.
  • To all the moms who pour themselves a glass of wine at night, you ARE a good mom.
  • To all the moms who have dishes piling up in the sink, you ARE a good mom.
  • To all the moms who have piles of laundry, dust bunnies, and toothpaste stained counters, you ARE a good mom.
  • To the mom who is exhasted and feeds her kids rice Krispy treats for dinner, you ARE a good mom.
  • To the mom at 2 am bawling her eyes out because she can’t get the baby to sleep, you ARE a good mom.
  • To the mom who’s child just received a diagnosis of Autism, OCD, ADHD, or anything else, you ARE a good mom.
  • To all the moms who give in and give the kids tablets or phones just so they can have some alone time on the couch, you ARE a good mom.
  • To the moms who have lost it in the heat of the moment, and screamed at her child, you ARE a good mom.
  • To the mom sitting on the floor holding her child who is hitting, kicking, biting and screaming at her, you ARE a good mom.
  • To all the moms who love their children something fierce, you ARE a good mom.

So you see, we are all a mess. There isn’t a perfect mom, just get that out of your head. When we popped those big headed beautiful babies out of our hoo-has, we didn’t pop a manual out to go with them. Motherhood is something we just kinda experiment with and learn from. Even us veterans have no idea what we are doing half the time.

I have never wanted to be like the Hollywood moms you see who have these pristine houses and well groomed kids who were never late to anything. They never wore the same spit up stained shirt two days on a row, never cried themselves to sleep from just pure stress. Instead, I wanted to be like my mom. My mom did not have it together all the time. She showed her frustration at times. She danced around with us and left the laundry and dishes go. She created real and raw memories that I have till this day. She showed me how important it is to be yourself, imperfections and all. That’s the kind of mother our kids need. Not some fake, put-together person. A person who loses it from time to time. A person who is always there for them, and who loves them fiercely.

So today when you feel like you are nothing but a failure. When you feel like you just can’t take it anymore, pick up and hold those babies, and whisper to yourself that you ARE a good mom. You are a beautiful hotmess of a mom, and you are damn good at it.

 

80 Comments

  • Amandela-Wife,Mommy,Blogger,Hotmess

    Yasssss!!! I’m definitely a hotmess and I don’t always get it right but boy do I love my little girl. She drives me cray cray sometimes but it’s okay it’s a part of the process. I am so thankful for my village that helps me be a better mom and supports me in raising her. I could not imagine doing it all alone!

  • Cayla

    This is amazing and was EXACTLY what I needed to read this morning. Your post made me giggle and cry. Job well done! You are a great mom 🙂

  • Maria

    Great read! Definitely something all moms should take a look at because we all have those days where we feel like failures. Just yesterday, I felt like I yelled my way through the day =(… Way to encourage! =)

  • Mommy Dearest

    So when do you know you have succeeded in this “mothering” thing and that you are a good mom? For me that was today while reading your Blog. The “To all mom’s” part I did them all! Even multiple ones on the same day-often. Many of those days I felt like a bad mom. I never wanted perfect kids nor did I promise to be a perfect mom, but I did not want to be a bad mom. So Today as I am reading your blog I cried. You are so encouraging and real. Your writing is just as beautiful and real as you are. After re-reading it is when I smiled started shaking my head yes and knowing that I have succeeded in being a mom and a good mom, after all I am your mom and you are a Wonderful Woman and a very good Mom.

  • Mrs. Cherry

    Yes to all of this! It’s a good read for mothers. I think we all internally at some point or another feel we are not good enough or as good as the next mother.

  • Tamara

    Thank you for that. A lot of us moms tend to beat ourselves up and take things hard. Summer is hard and chaotic for me and the dishes are definitely piling up!

    • itsahotmess04

      Girl I’m counting the day till summer is over. Just leave those dishes there and give yourself a break.

  • Joan Cajic

    After the day I’ve had with my boys, it’s really nice to come and read this. Honestly us mums are tougher than we think and nobody can tell us otherwise. I usually think I am going crazy sometimes but it’s all good and everything will be fine.

    • itsahotmess04

      I know I am going crazy, but it’s part of the package and I know deep down I’m a good mom and you are too.

  • cassie hollabaugh

    Thank you for sharing, reminds me of when I first started blogging. Why mom matters, a blog post for moms feeling inadequate it seems that baby blues like to stick around for months or years. There have been many times of guilt from yelling, swearing, spanking and revoking things. It’s even worse to see your little one well up with tears when you are just trying to teach them the right things to do in life, when that backfires it feels like your insides are shattering and your size is just shrinking and shrinking. I have found myself staring at the walls for hours because im trying to mother two older kids that are 12 and 9 and im only 24, then i have a toddler with their dad. They didnt come into the picture until two years later, so life is a hot mess. There are many moments of feelings of inadequacy that you bury your head between your knees in the shower asking your self why. What makes me important or worth anything especially since im not super mom. Yep, im with you girl.

  • Stephanie

    It’s so true, we aren’t all perfect. And we all parent differently. Personally, I am more stressed when my house is a mess and we are running late. But that’s just me. My sister’s house is always a mess and she’s never on time. We both have (mostly) happy boys and we are both good mothers. It’s all about perspective.

  • Tara

    There definitely are days when I feel I work too much and don’t spend and invest enough time in my kids. Not shared our family values in a meaningful way that helps them to take it as their own.

  • Lois Alter Mark

    Such an important post, and one that every mom needs to read periodically. We always beat ourselves up for our mistakes but need to celebrate all the good moments. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart!

  • Marjie Mare

    It’s not for any reason that I only come to read your post at this specific time. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for lifting me up to the normal world again.

  • Tereka McCollum

    What a wonderful post! Mothers do need to be reminded that we’re still great. Perfection is often staged and my kids could never be taught that. Thanks for sharing!

  • Rachel

    Thank you! I am loving this. There are so many things that we can feel guilty about as moms. I think we all need to hear we are doing a good job more often.

  • Emma Riley

    I really enjoyed reading this post it so beautiful. All we know that being a mother is not an easy task but it is very rewarding!

  • Cristina Coroiu

    What an amazing post. Being a mom it’s hard and to deal with home chores as well, can be too much sometimes. But most of the moms are great moms, and most likely all moms do their best to raise their child.

  • Emma Riley

    Love this post it gives you a lot of encouragement to be the best that you can. Now that I am a mother of two all I can say is that motherhood is not easy but its all worth it.

  • Princess Quinn

    No one can tell me that I am not doing a good job, just because I woke up late. Because it’s not easy to stay up late at night breastfeeding my baby. I am a good mom.

  • Hannah Marie

    This is a great reminder for all of us. Moms are the best. They do anything at the very best they can be. Kudos to all moms out there!

  • Angela Tolsma

    My friends who are moms are some of the most amazing people I know. I need to spread this to them because they don’t hear it enough and I am glad you have written it with them in mind.

  • Pearl

    This is a must-read for all moms to stop feeling guilty all the time and accept that they are doing their best and they are the best!

  • Jessica Taylor

    I really needed to read this today! Sometimes it feels like i’m failing as a mom, so it is nice when someone reminds me of how blessed i truly am!

  • Joanna

    The idea of “mother”, in Hollywood movies, is very far away from the truth. You will never see in a movie the real struggles a mother has to go through, and the sacrifices she does for her children.

  • Kristi @ Way Beyond The Norm

    ABSOLUTELY! This is a wonderful post. Just what every mom needs to hear. You don’t have to be put together, cut your kids sandwiches into cute little owl shapes, take them to every outing they’re invited to. You just have to be you! Your kids love you for YOU…losing your *!@* and all. =) Mom’s are freaking rockstars!!!

  • Nina

    no one is perfect but trying your best is perfection in my eyes! good luck with everything 🙂 thank you for sharing your sincere writing 🙂

  • Holly

    Excellent viewpoint. I love where you are coming from with this. I definitely don’t always feel like I’m doing great…but I have to remember I am!

  • chelf

    to my mom who always felt that she was not doing enough: YOU are a good mom. Very emotional and inspiring post, thank you so much for sharing!

  • Gabbie Sanchez

    These are awesome uplifting messages. Thank you for that. Sometimes as mothers we put too much pressure on ourselves. We need to take a moment to see that we are doing alright 🙂

  • Becca Wilson

    Being a mom definitely comes with the good but it definitely comes with the frustrating too. Even though some days you want to throw in the towel, you are still a good mom!

  • What Corinne Did

    I think they are so many social standards imposed on women on how to be a good mum that it puts a lot of pressure on their shoulder and his very hard! This post is so refreshing and will help many moms. Not one yet but I am sure it is hard work!

  • Holly Hood

    This is a great read and I really enjoyed reading it. I have heard so many moms that feels guilty about motherhood. They must realize that they are doing their best and that is great.

  • Marie

    Haaaa, I loved this. I could relate to everything. I’ve found not to take myself too seriously. And do whatever works for my family, despite the awkward looks and comments from others. I just wish we could all focus more on lifting each other up instead of finding the flaws. Thanks for sharing this – much appreciated and needed!

  • Olga Zak

    What a fantastic post! This is a great read and I really enjoyed it. It’s hard to remember that we all have our struggles and being a Mom isn’t easy. Thanks for the reminder.

  • Waren Jean

    I am not a mom yet but I never question any moms way of parenting their child. One day I’m gonna have my own and I will do the best I can to raise my child well.

  • Floby

    I really love the list of books you have hear, will definitely check them out. Great thing is we are good moms and amazing in all our little ways.

  • Hey Sharonoox

    I’m needing to hear this today and what perfect timing. Thanks for this great reminder! Agree that being a mom is definitely not a walk in the park but the reward of being a mom is priceless.

  • Andrea

    It’s so true with these iPads and iPhones. My toddler is trying to negotiate time on these on a daily basis. No matter how long she has it , 5, minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes. Taking it away causes her to have a worse tantrum than the tantrum to get the damn iPad . there are so many sacrifices you have to make with kids and something you DO need a few moments to relax on the couch ( or watch HGTV instead of paw patrol) and it’s nice to know that although you sometimes give in to these device demands , your 5 minutes of sanity are worth it.

  • Eloise

    It’s a great reminder to all of us MOMS out there, perfection is non-existent and therefore we shouldn’t expect ourselves and other parents to be… We, as society, put too much pressure on ourselves and it makes us unhappy (which is one of the worst things for our kids to see ‘an unhappy, stressed, over-expectationed parent’ … Let us love ourselves for who we are and what we do regardless (unconditionally) that will teach our kids the most important life lesson, love and acceptance!

    Great read/awesome message!

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