Marriage…everyone has their own idea of what a perfect marriage looks like. Well, here is mine: there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. A perfect marriage would mean that both parties get along ALL OF THE TIME, lets be real that’s just not possible. I’m not sure why people always use the phrase, “They must have the perfect marriage.”
When I was a kid, I always thought that my parents had this perfect marriage. What they had instead, and what they still have to this day, is a real, raw, and happy marriage. So what does that mean? What is a “real” marriage? Well, if you ask me, and I know you did, a real marriage is one that has ups and downs, and loop-de-loops. Its a marriage that has fights, arguments, then turn around the next day and it has smacks on the ass, cute kisses, and authentic love. It means that through it all, those two people realize that they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, so during those rougher times they work through it and make it work because they want it to work. I always knew that my parents loved each other, like that ooey gooey kinda of love. I also knew that there were days that liking each other was a little more work.
So, what does all this have to do with me? Well, you see, my parents set me up for what my intentions were for a marriage. I wanted a fairy tale love that had a little extra bumps in it than the classic Cinderella story.
That’s exactly what I got. When I was 16, I sat behind this super nerd in geometry class. A kid that was way different than all my other jock boyfriends. There was something about him; opposites attract after all. This poor kid was just looking for a girlfriend, he had no idea that, nearly a decade later, he would be married to that girl for eight years, and have four kids with her. Yes, at 16, my cliche fairytale began.
Think of almost every cheesy high school romance movie, and you have us. Small town ✅, cheerleader ✅, innocent nerd that everyone roots for ✅, obnoxious ex boyfriend ✅, cliche dad lines ✅, weekend break up where the two teens realize they are meant for each other ✅, and of course the prom scene ✅.
Our story even takes it a step further with the fact that we were even in preschool and little league soccer together.
Every time we reveal our fairy tale love story, we always get the “AWWWWW,” to the point that we’re like, “Yea yea we know.” Most teens are thinking about colleges and getting away, all I was concerned about was making sure that wherever I went, it was with him. Since the day I realized that I truly loved that nerd, I have never wanted to be with someone else. Getting married at 19 didn’t phase me at all. That said, that does not mean it hasn’t come with challenges. You name it, we’ve gone through it. Financial trouble, figuring out “who we are” trouble, balancing married life with still being kids ourselves, learning how to be adults. As the years passed we encountered the stress of having kids, moving away, lack of sex (due to kids). We’ve had our share of low days where we weren’t sure if tomorrow we would still be that fairy tale couple everyone rooted for. We’ve said words we regretted, and resented each other from time to time. Through it all, even on our gloomiest of days, we have returned and saw it through.
Tomorrow will mark eight years that we have been married, and if I had to do it all over again, it would still have the same outcome. I would still choose him. We were a couple of kids when we started off, completely clueless about life. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was telling us to slow down, to wait, to just be kids. Well when you put two stubborn people together, they tend to do the opposite of what they were told. We have literally grown up together; from kids, to young adults, to now, it’s been me and him. I rely on him for everything, and he relies on me. We are 100% a team about everything, and I think that has had a huge impact on how far we have come. We love hard, we stay real, and we work though it all. We don’t believe in staying married just for kids. We want our kids to know that a marriage is going to have fights, that it’s not all roses and candle light dinners. It’s more roses and kraft Mac n cheese while binge watching Game of Thrones.
I’ve been asked many times, how did you do it, why did you do it? Here is how I did it…I never gave up. Although I believe that sometimes people do grow apart, I think a good marriage IS worth fighting for. So on those low and dull moments, we fought, we communicated, we compromised, and, most importantly, we never stopped loving each other. The honest answer is, it’s easy to stop loving, it’s hard work keeping a marriage going, especially when you are so young. Now to the why did I do it, instead of waiting? Well, why not? I knew that I wanted nothing else, so starting our lives together at a young age was the easiest decision for me.
If our kids were to come to me at the same age and say they wanted to get married, I would not sugar coat it. I would tell them you have a long and hard road ahead of you, but if you truly love each other, and are willing to work through it, then I support you.
I’m going to end this barf fest with a super cheesy and ooey gooey love letter, so brace yourselves.
Dear Nerdy Husband,
Eight years ago I said “I Do,” to some kid I met in geometry class. Today I wake up to a man that has completely turned my world upside down. Eight years ago I said I told that kid that I loved him. Today, that love is deeper and truer. What I thought love was back then, is what I now call puppy love. There is no way I would have been able to handle the amount of love I feel for you now, when I was just a kid myself. We have grown up together and you have become more than a fairy tale love for me, you are my best friend. You make me laugh, cry, and you make me love myself. You make me want to always be better than I was the day before. In the eight years that we have been married, no matter what we have faced, I have never wanted to do it with anyone else. You are my past, my present, and my future. You really have given me a “Happily Ever…Most Of The Time,” story, and I can’t wait to see how that story grows.
Your super hot(mess) of a wife!
😘 💋 😚