I was planning to make my first post in 2019 to be a resolution type cliché. I still plan on making said post, but the new year had other plans for me. You see, I had a normal new year eve night with my husband. We ate a really late dinner of steak and baked potato, after the kids decided to stop coming out of their rooms. We had a glass, or two of champagne and we watched Game of Thrones, or re-watched I should say. We gave each other a little smooch around midnight and hit the hay. During the night, I found myself tossing and turning due to what I thought was an upset stomach. When I awoke, I found myself welcoming not a stomach bug, or a hangover, but something much worse. Something that can put a busy mom to her knees…that’s right, I’m talking about IT. The return of aunt flow, the red seas…my period.
Now, I’m not talking about your average once a month period. I’m talking about THE period. The first one since having my fourth bundle of joy, eight months ago. My first one since, said bundle of joy, has begun the weaning process way earlier than anticipated. So for all you fellow breastfeeding mamas, or really any mama, you know exactly what I am talking about. Those first few postpartum periods are literally the worse. If you thought you had a heavy flow before, you have NO IDEA what heavy flow even means, till you have that first return. I’m pretty sure that’s what the scene in the Shining was referencing and don’t even get me started on those cramps. Some women say that these first few periods after birth or breastfeeding, can hurt worse than actual labor pains…OUCH!
So why am I telling you these grotesque things about what is happening to my body? Well, If you’ve read any of my other posts, you will see that I choose to write about things that are real and a hotmess period is as real as real gets. Also, and probably more importantly, I’m not shy about it. I think that society has pressured so many women and girls to be quite about something that is so natural. You are supposed to be hush hush about it when company is around. They’ve made young girls feel embarrassed about their own bodies. Well, let me tell you something ladies, there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Our bodies are the fiercest thing on this planet and that is something to be proud of. Can you think of anything else that can bleed for days and still live to tell the tale?? I think not. In fact, we should just cut to the chase and take over the world.
Ok, seriously though, I’m talking about this particular period, because it is something they do NOT talk about when you are going through all those parenting books or classes. They don’t mention that when your period comes back after breastfeeding, or after being ripped apart at birth, that it’s going to look like a hotmess. The kind of hotmess you see on CSI, Hot To Get Away With Murder, or nearly any other crime scene. It’s going to feel like your insides are destroying each other, in the battle to end all battles. Why do they feel this kind of information isn’t necessary to new mothers? I feel like its good to know that your first period after having a baby is going to look and feel like you are going to bleed to death, that no amount of padding is going to work. That you are going to feel your insides ripping apart at the seams. That’s shit that is terrifying to newbs. Hell, I’m not a newb and I still find it terrifying.
So, now that I probably have scarred you from ever coming back, let me drop some female knowledge on ya. It is completely NORMAL. Yes, you heard me. That horrific scene I described above, is normal. So normal in fact, that when you google it…yes, I googled it, you will find other moms from various mommy sites asking about it. They are asking, because they are genuinely freaked out. They had no clue that their period was going to come back with such vengeance that it made horror movies bow down to it. Does it not bother anyone else that so many moms out there had to seek guidance from the freaking internet because of this??? Well, it bothers me.
Somewhere out there, there is a mom going through this right now. I’m talking to you sweetheart. THIS IS NORMAL. It’s happening, because for months your body has basically been building up lining and when it came time for the dam to break, well… I’m sure you’ve seen videos of flood gates being opened up. It’s the same concept. We are shedding so much lining at once, that it’s going to cause severe pain, and look, well, look the way it’s looking. Other factors that come into play is the hormones caused from breastfeeding can really alter a woman’s body and when breastfeeding starts to lesson or stop, those hormones will change again; basically a whole hell of a lot of hormones are surging through our bodies right now.
If you are anticipating the return of the flow, for the first time since giving birth and or breastfeeding, here are some things to expect.
- It will be a mess, there’s no getting around that. This will be for most women, extremely heavy.
- There will be pain…serious childs pose, heating pad, not enough Middol in the world pain.
- For many women it will be like this for a week, and chances are the next few cycles.
- YOU ARE NOW OVULATING…SEX=PREGNANCY
What are some things you can do to manage this crisis?
- RELAX; give yourself some credit, your body is a kick ass baby machine that needs to recharge. So let some house work pile up, or better yet, ask for help.
- Heating pads are your friend, GET ONE
- Chocolate is also your friend and will treat you with kindness.
- Extra heavy “equipment”. You are gonna want to pull out the big boys. I’m talking about the granny panties and oversized pads to go with.
- Lastly, don’t be embarrassed, don’t talk about it in hushed tones. Be proud and let your other fellow moms know what will one day be headed their way too.
So, even though this SUCKS and believe me it SUCKS, it’s natures way of calling us super beings, sent to one day dominate this world.
To quote Michael Crichton in Jurassic Park,
” God created dinosaurs. God destroyed dinosaurs. God created Man. Man destroyed God. Man created dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man…Woman inherits the earth.“