Family,  hotmess,  mommyblog,  mommyblog

How to become a Hotmess mom

I don’t know about you, but there is something to be said about being a hotmess mom. We are generally down to earth, laid back, sarcastic and love to laugh. I feel like hotmess moms get a bad rap. Sure,we may be wearing our shirt inside-out, but give us some credit where it’s due.

We are a hotmess because we give so much to our kids, that all those brain cells up there are maxed out. Whatever is left is basically mush that is surviving off of coffee.

Why is it that if we see a mom struggling at the park, or arriving late to school, or looking like a basket case, that we automatically assume she’s a bad mom?

Nowhere in the hotmess description does it say “bad mom”

I went ahead and googled the definition of hotmess mom; yes there is an actual definition, and here is what it says, according to urban dictionary. 

Hot Mess Mom “A mom who will never drink hot coffee without re-heating it in the microwave. The mom who’s husband, kids and fellow-moms shake their heads because they all know. The mom who forgets to sign permission slips/bake for the bake sale/everything. Most likely your shirt is dirty if you are a hot mess mom. The hot mess mom has most likely sent her kids to school in regular clothes during spirit week. Most of all, the hot mess mom is actually rocking it and doing a better job than she even thinks. 

So, see, if you are a hotmess mom like myself, you are totally rocking mom life. Sure, we may be forgetful. I mean I’m not gonna lie, that whole permission slip part is spot on. What happens though, is I’ll see a commercial, or read about some trip on social media and immediately have this sudden panic attack. This awful feeling hits the pit of my stomach and I suddenly realize…

I forgot that permission slip…Again! (like the parents in Home Alone who sleep in)

So I obviously stop what I’m doing, which is probably laying half dead on the couch with a pile of clothes around me while the baby sleeps and I’ll rush over to the kids school (wearing a spit up stained shirt, mind you) just to turn in the damn permission slip.

Needless to say, the permission slips all eventually get signed and instead of baking I will gladly run to Walmart and pick up some already-frosted cupcakes for your bake sale. I mean try and tell me the kids actually taste the difference??

I hear and see all these put-together moms at parks, or posting their pretty pictures on Instagram with the caption “just rolled out of bed”…

Sorry, Susie, but I’m calling bull.

We all know that you took your sweet time getting ready, just to take that damn picture. Here’s a picture of me, taken from my camera on my computer, at 3:50 pm; the only difference here is I shoved my hair into this massive bun early this morning, because otherwise my 8 month old finds that it’s entirely too funny to yank it out.

Notice the pile of what I can only assume is a complete rats nest by now piled on top of my head. As you see here, I am rocking, like, a 7 year-old Old Navy zip-up and zero makeup–because it’s Sunday (who really cares?). Also, you can see me holding my youngest child; the only child who hasn’t learned to back-talk me or get into my stuff yet–there is still hope for him. He is also usually the one who completes my ensemble with the perfect shade of spit up.

                

So, as you can plainly see, I have the “mess” portion of HOTMESS down pat. Oh, and I definitely didn’t shower today; instead I sprayed a bunch of dry shampoo through my hair and spritzed some bath and body spray everywhere else. 

The urban dictionary pretty much summed up the definition of a hotmess mom, but incase you weren’t for sure, here are some key characteristics of the classic hotmess mom.

Characteristics of a Hotmess mom

  • Messy bun that was dry shampooed and thrown back while there were tiny humans clinging to your leg
  • Leggings…So many leggings, specifically compression leggings to help hold up that post-baby bump you have 

  • Stains on nearly every shirt you own
  • Forgetful, until you remember the thing you forgot in a frantic panic
  • You ALWAYS look tired, because you probably are
  • Coffee; iced, hot, blended, hot and then left so it turns cold; just make sure you have a working coffee maker

  • Late: there is a good chance a hotmess mom is always late because she is running after her children begging them to get their shoes on for the 100,000,000,000th time
  • Always looks like she’s in a frantic hurry, because she probably is, see above point. 
  • Scatterbrained: a hotmess mom will start several activities throughout the day, only to stop within seconds and move on to another one
  • Fun, a hotmess mom is fun and fun loving
  • Wine: basically all the things said about coffee, are also true about wine
  • Laid back: a hotmess mom is laid back and parents in a laid back manner
  • 80’s music or 90’s pop is ALWAYS playing and you can spot the hotmess mom singing aloud, not caring
  • Messy house: there are probably dishes, laundry, and random stains on the walls of a hotmess house, because she is too busy being a mom to run around cleaning
  • Most importantly a hotmess mom is a damn good mother

If you have checked off multiple items from that list, then chances are you are a hotmess mom, which is a pretty awesome thing to be–if you ask me.

We need to seriously stop this stigmatism that goes along with the title of “hotmess mom”, because being one is awesome. We aren’t gonna have it all together. But you know what? We don’t care. I don’t care if you think drinking wine before 5 pm is loco, just call it grape juice and take a swig.

I’m not out to please anyone but my kids, my husband and myself. They all know that I’m a hotmess and they love that about me.

I tackle everything I set out to do. I may be frantic and scatterbrained, but it all gets done eventually. I absolutely love being a hotmess mom and I love living my hotmess life. We live one life, we should set out to enjoy every aspect of it and the best part of being a hotmess mom, is that life is one crazy adventure after another. 

So, I say if you’re a hotmess mom embrace the shit out of it, because you are an AMAZING mom. If you know a hotmess mom, let her know that she is one kick ass mom. If you choose to judge a hotmess mom because you assume you have it all put together, well just know that we see through your clouds of lies, but we accept you anyway, because a hotmess mom will love you no matter what. 

Now go grab your coffee that you probably sat down on the window sill of the bathroom as you were dry shampooing your hair. Take a swig of the now cold coffee, click the share button of this hotmess blog and go take your kids to school, because you are 5 minutes from being 10 minutes late.

 

Catch ya hotmess mommies later!

 

58 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *