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I don’t have to like my kids all the time

Being a mom is hard work, don’t even try to deny it. It is literally one of the hardest jobs you will ever do. It is also one of the most rewarding jobs, or in my opinion, it is THE most awarding job.

The amount of love you get to experience when you become a mother, is unlike anything out there. Not to mention the pure joy of knowing that that blue-eyed beauty came from you. You are their everything and nobody will ever need you more than they need you now. I will forever love my children fiercly. I will give them anything, including my last breath…but that does not mean I have to like them all the time, or that I have to like them equally all the time. 

Yea that’s right I don’t like my children all the time. Notice, I did not say the word “love”. I WILL love my babies all day every day, but you can love someone and momentarily not like them at the same time. 

Moms, you know exactly what I am talking about too. I’m telling you it’s ok to NOT like the child that just back-talked you for the millionth time today. They have pushed you to the brink and, just like any other person who would push us that far, we are allowed to not like them. You know deep down that you love the little back-talker, but currently you just do not like them. They are kinda being an asshat, and it’s ok to call them out on it. 

I don’t know if you know this, but kids can be the biggest asshats there are. They will look you in the eye while doing something you specifically told them not to do. They will run around the house screaming and pushing you and eachother. They break things; usually things you actually care about. They are messy, mischievous, loud and obsessive. They are the reason you are severely sleep deprived, the reason your boobs and stomach look like deflated balloons, and the reason you no longer get carded at the liquor store. Even with all of these things you still love them, but man, oh man you do NOT have to like them all the time.

As it is you know damn well they love you and yet you still hear them say “I hate you” when you turn Fortnite off. 

So basically parenthood is a mutual love/hate relationship amongst parents and children. 

Remember that time when you thought motherhood was going to be like Marry Poppins where everyone loved each other and everyone was happy? In reality, motherhood is more like the show Roseanne; everyone loves each other, but half the time they’re at each other’s throats. 

We are with these kids all they time, they literally won’t leave us alone. They constantly have to touch us, ask us a million questions, or throw a fit whenever we gave them the yellow cup, when clearly they wanted the blue cup. 

It’s ok to not like the child who is currently drawing on the wall…in sharpie. It’s ok to then suddenly have a favorite child, the one who is not coloring on the wall with a sharpie and who is sitting on the bed watching other kids play on YouTube. 

It’s ok to not like the child who is constantly assuming that she is entitled to anything and everything, simply because she says so. It’s ok to not like any of the children after they have woken the baby up for the umpteenth time. 

I’m not sure why people assume that we have to like our kids all the time? Can you think of a person who you actually like 100% of the time??? 

I didn’t think so. 

It’s no different with our kids. They may be small and innocent one moment and then suddenly you realize you fed them after midnight, and they turn into possessed little gremlins. Nobody liked the gremlins when it got to that point in the movie. Just imagine your children as little gremlins. 

I like to wake up and play a game called “Who wants to be my favorite today?” The rules of the game are whoever annoys me the least, will become my favorite child of the day. It’s a fun little game that keeps everyone on their toes. 

So, you see, you don’t have to feel like the worst mother ever, just because you don’t like your kids all the time. I would be concerned if you really actually liked them all the time. I would assume that you had robot children who did whatever you commanded of them. These feelings just make you a normal, human mother. A hardworking, dedicated mother, who loves her children more than life itself, but equally wants to run away from them and vacation at a beach house in Costa Rica. 

You are an amazing mother, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your kids know how much you love them, just like you know how much they love you; even though they scream at you when they don’t get their way.

Anywho, the point is that they do a lot of things that drive you bonkers. Like eat ALL of your favorite crackers that you specifically said were yours. Or get into your makeup and smear it EVERYWHERE. Or remember that one time when the thought they needed an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper? Which, of course, caused the bathroom to become flooded. There is nothing to like about these situations, therefore it is completely normal to not like them when they are acting like a bunch of fools. 

I wasn’t gonna mention it, but the same thing can be applied to our husbands. I love that man to pieces, but he get’s on my damn nerves, and I do not like him all the time. I mean–he of course loves me all the time, it’s me…ok, maybe just maybe it goes both ways.

That doesn’t mean I’m dumping him at the curb, it just means I’m specifically taking up more than my share of the bed tonight. When morning comes I’ll scoot on over and tell him how much I love him, then he will do something to piss me off, like leave his pants wherever he damn well pleases and the cycle will start all over again. 

The moral of the story is, you are all one big happy family. A happy family who doesn’t like each other all the time. Two parents who will do anything for those precious babies they brought into this world, while simultaneously locking the door to get away from them.

Like I said, parenthood is more like Roseann; the perfect balance of love and strong dislike. 

Just a hotmess family doing their best!

 

59 Comments

  • Alexandra

    I must admit, I don’t have kids (yet) so I cannot relate 100% – however, I admire you Mum’s SO much, and I think you do such a wonderful job. 🙂 I can only hope I will be able to handle things as well when I am a Mum!

  • candy

    I always told my kids that I would always love them. Doesn’t mean I would always like them. Meaning their actions and what they say at times, just like they wouldn’t always like me as their mom but would always love me. They totally understood

  • Angela Tolsma

    I love your moral of the story. I totally agree. I think love is consistent but you don’t have to like each other all the time and there’s nothing wrong with that. The gremlins photo is awesome.

  • Joanna

    I am not a mother and don’t have any children but I can imagine that it’s hard to like them all the time. After all, you are their parent and you do need to parent them when they do naughty things.

  • StylishGeek

    Absolutely wonderful and so true of a post! I have to admit being a mom is THE most difficult occupation. You don’t go to school to study how, you do the best you can base on experience, advice, and gut. And feeling guilty is an annoying invisible guardian. But at the end of the day it feels wonderful to live the testament of unconditional love.

  • Mommy Dearest

    Once again your blog is Spot on! According to your brothers I always thought you were perfect. I wasn’t that dumb! I wish I could say I always liked you but that would be a lie. Even you-Yes You-was an asshat. You may have thought “I hate you” many times, but you only said it to me once. That was a deep dark day in my life. I remember I then called you a “spoiled brat” only to have you respond “and who’s fault is that”. I resolved at that moment to never buy or give anything ever again. And I was true to my word for over 24 hours. I may not have always liked you but for every minute of the last 10,326 days (yeah I looked it up) I have loved you more than life itself! And now I’m crying-thanks!

  • Stephanie

    Yes, Yes, Yes!! I say all the time that you can love someone without liking them. Before having kids, this came up often when one of my cousins was being a complete jerk. Now, there are days that I don’t like being mom, but I still am here. I still love my children no matter what. But there are times that I get along better with one than the other. For a while, my 5 year old was pushing all the wrong buttons. The last month or so, it’s been my 3 year old. But as you said, no matter how much they may be driving me crazy, the thought of anything bad happening to them would tear me apart.

  • Amber Myers

    Yup, I so agree with this. I’ll always love my kids, but sometimes I may not like them. For example, my daughter is a tween with attitude, and sometimes I’d like her to return to her room and shut the door so I can have some peace.

  • Joan Cajic

    I so feel you, I will love my boys always and forever but I can decide not to like them when I am totally sleep deprived from waking 4 times a night to feed one then the other decides to misplace his school bag and everything in it until the last minute. Oh boy, I do understand, I love this.

  • Tiff

    Let me just start by saying I don’t always like myself either! You’re so right – I can’t think of anyone who likes me ALL the time. Nor do I like my kids all the time – there are times when they really do unlikable things, but I always love them!

  • Julie

    Although I’m not yet a parent, you wrote this amazingly! Thanks for being so candid. I’m surrounded by moms who are always losing it, and feel judged when they complain about motherhood because it’s such a ‘blessing’ but no one sees the craziness they have to endure all day. Keep up your amazing work, motherhood is the hardest job there is.

  • Heather

    I love my kids, all the time. But there are times when I just wish they would listen, not be mean to one another and clean up after themselves. If they did all of that, they would be perfect!

  • Stephanie Stebbins

    I didn’t have a lot of these feelings until my children became teens, lol, THAT MOUTH OMG! I definitely LOVE my kids at all times, but there are moments where I didn’t like them very much! Luckily for me, they’re both in their 20s now, so maturity has definitely helped those “unlike” moments 😉 <3

  • Jessica Hughes

    I love my kids with all of my being but there are always times where I don’t like them! And yes, that is ok! “Just a hotmess family doing their best” resonates with me SO much. We are definitely a hot mess at many times too.

  • Morgan Shaw

    Love the pictures. I am not a mum myself, but my mum often tells me she loves me but doesn’t like me… so I agree you don’t have to like your children all the time … especially if they are being naughty.

  • Bindu Thomas

    I love the moral in your story. A mom can’t stop loving their kid. But not all the time we can like their behaviors. You’re right.

  • chelf

    Such a refreshing honesty and a great point of view! It’s time we start being honest to ourselves and be honest about our feelings right? Not every day is the same and thats totally fine!

  • Jessi Joachim

    Yes! I don’t like my kids all the time… I love them all the time, but like my mom used to tell me ” I love you but I do not like you right now”… Lol I never understood what she really meant until I had kids of my own!

  • Nicole

    I love my kids and would go through anything to make sure their safety and needs were met. But there are times when i really dont like them, and will hide myself away for a momentary break to collect myself. Its such a difficult job to be a parent, but its rewarding for sure.

  • Sarah Bailey

    I am sure a whole lot of parents are going to resonate with this. I am not a parent myself but I can definitely understand how sometimes you can love someone but not particularly like them.

  • Flossie McCowald

    Yes and Amen to all of this! Love them all. the. time. Frequently find they drive me bonkers. Younger, it was graffiti on the walls for sure – these days, it is their VOLUME (esp when they start that day’s round of WWIII) – I sometimes wish they came with a mute button!

  • Gladys Nava

    Yeah! I really agree with this! But being a mother is something special! I have a kid and the happiness that he always gave to me was so so amazing! I love this post and the quotes were so true!

  • Neha

    Love it. Love them, don’t like them! I don’t have any kids of my own yet but I have seen so many mums struggling with motherhood around me. I need to share this with them!!

  • Rosey

    I don’t like Fortnite, lol. I let my son get the free trial when he got his Xbox for Christmas and then when the time was up, that was it. There was a mild temper tantrum and then live moved forward sans the game that he wanted to play 24/7. 😉

  • Kiwi

    Im not a mom yet but I am sure all my friends with children agree with you. At least you are honest and I know when I was growing up my mom would say I love you but I dont like you right now lol

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